That’s right.  He’s my friend.  He wasn’t always, and I’m sure he’ll agree about that!  It was rough, believe me.  Maybe someday I’ll get into that, but not today.  Today, he is my friend. Yesterday marked our 5-year divorceaversary.  It usually goes by without an acknowledgment, though not far from our thoughts, I’m sure.  And always acknowledge Mother’s and Father’s day, and thank each other for our FOUR incredible children we have together.  Although last year I did wish him a happy divorceaversary, he didn’t think it was very funny.  Laugh or cry, right? I thought we would be together, through thick or thin.  But as is the case with many, and for a multitude of reasons, because it is NEVER one sided, we didn’t make it.  It has taken a lot of time to get to where we are today.  Frustration, disappointment, insecurity, maybe even hate.  Eventually, though, you can have acceptance, acknowledgment, truth, and dare I say it, friendship. One thing that has made it better, and don’t say I’m crazy, hear me out on this, is his new wife.  Yep, that’s right.  This is typically the time when the Ex really gets bitter, right?  But you know what happened?  My children loved her!  How was I supposed to react to that?  Feel threatened?  No way Why?  Because I’m their mom.  I know I’m their mom, and they know it too.  The world doesn’t have enough love.  How can you get mad about love? If my children could go over to their father’s home, with their new stepmother, and love her, then how could I get mad at that? The alternative would be to be happy that they hate her, and wouldn’t my childrens’ lives be miserable if that were the case?  If I had to hear how much they hate her, or how much they hated going to their house, then that means we, their father and I, are not doing our jobs right.  Not that they didn’t complain once and a while, just like I’m sure they do about me over there.  But if the only thing they can say is her spaghetti isn’t like mine (#truth  🙂 )  then they’re doing something right! Are there times when we still drive each other nuts? Absolutely.  But when it comes down to it, we (and I mean all 3 of us) are here for our children.  And here for each other. And what I know, is that we are together through thick and thin, still.  Maybe not the way we had originally planned, but it works.  Our children are happy, and we are happy.   And today, as we had to go through a difficult experience, the 3 of us were there, together, to support our children.  How could a mother ask for anything more?  Even though I insist, much to his chagrin, to do so much on my own, as if I have to prove I can do it (which I can), I know that he is there to help and support me whenever he can, even if it’s as innocuous as cleaning out my garage for me.  And nothing but time and patience can get you here. So if you are just starting your path on being a Single Parent, hang in there.  Don’t hold grudges.  You can do it, you will do it, and you will survive.  Kids First. ~W