Sometimes you’re just overwhelmed as a parent. And it’s normal. With today’s immersion in social media, it can seem that being frazzled as a parent is not normal. We see snapshots of our friends’ lives on Facebook, snapshots of celebrities raising their children on Instagram and everyone is always smiling and perfect. But just like the movies, the perfection is make-believe. Of course, most people aren’t going to post the trying times, the temper tantrums, the sibling bickering. But it happens to every parent and family. Most of us just don’t have nannies to handle it. Regardless of your situation, it’s important to remember that every family has the same struggles. We love our children with all our hearts, but sometimes it can be overwhelming.
Below are a few tips I’ve learned from being a mom of 4. I hope they help you as much as they helped me.
7. Never cook the day you grocery shop. It’s too exhausting! Treat yourself, especially if you took your children with you. I used to beg my ex to let the kids stay home with him while I grocery shopped. Let’s just say that when we divorced, saying that I enjoyed hearing his harrowing tales of shopping with the kids is a major understatement. Karma’s a bitch. Grocery day is pizza night!
6. Annual passes are your friend! When the kids are younger, passes to the local zoo, museums and amusement parks are well worth the investment, even if you’re a single parent. Especially if you’re a single parent! When money is tight, and you need to get the kiddos out of the house, it’s so easy to pack a lunch and head out to the zoo and not have to worry about an entrance fee. Don’t see all the same animals each time, rotate through them so it is interesting for you as well as your children. Have a picnic. You’re only out gas to get there!
5. Get an Instant Pot! I have said this 3 times now. If you don’t have one, GET ONE HERE!!!! I cannot stress this enough. I get home from work by about 5:45 at night. The last thing I want to do after a hard day at work is to start cooking a meal that takes 30 minutes to put together, 45 to 60 minutes to cook, and then after eating, another 20 minutes to wash all of the dishes. Often times we didn’t settle down until well after 8 o’clock. I don’t think that is ok! No No No! Now I get home, throw everything in the Instant Pot (and when I say everything, I’m talking 6 large chicken breasts, seasonings, and vegetables), set it for 30 minutes. And then serve the food. Dishes consist of our plates, silverware, cups and 1 pot. I save an hour a night easy. And I always cook extra for leftovers so dinner a couple nights later is even faster. HERE IS A STARTER RECIPE to try. It is fast and delicious.
4. If you have more than one child, when they are big enough and aren’t in car seats anymore, have designated days that rotate when they ride shotgun. Sounds silly. It’s not. I do not understand it to this day. It doesn’t matter where you sit in the car. The car arrives at the destination at the exact same time whether they are sitting in the front or back. But they will have this fight ad-nauseam if you don’t stop it right away.
3. Say no if you have to. To friends, family, whoever. If you are feeling over-extended, say no. They’ll live.
2. You have to take time for yourself. Even when you have no idea how to do it, you have to. Find what works for you. Some people take long baths at the end of the day. That never worked for me. Unfortunately, the bathroom was not as solitary as I’d wished. Ideally, we’d be able to get away for a bit, but for many parents, single or not, that isn’t an option. So it might mean getting up 15 or 30 minutes earlier and having coffee on the porch, in the quiet. If your children are older, schedule 30 minutes before bedtime for self-care downtime for everyone! They need it too, and it’s best to get them in the habit now. Read, listen to music with headphones, draw, journal. As long as it’s quiet time.
1. Coffee in the morning. Wine at night. Not to get drunk; you never know when you have to drive somewhere unexpectedly. But a glass is a treat.
